Let us talk about things that are important to me right now. I am holding it in my hand. It is delicious.

It is alcohol. It is wine.

This gorgeous glass of wine sits in my hand, relieving me of the days’ stresses…inspiring creative thought. It’s really a wonderful invention. Alcohol and I have developed a beautiful relationship over the past several years but, interestingly enough, I didn’t drink until I was 21. I had decided, prematurely, that alcohol was scary. It would rob me of all control. For example, when I was 8ish (who can accurately remember ages?), I mistook my very much non-alcoholic Sprite for my dad’s completely alcoholic vodka-Sprite. I took one drink, gagged, then ran to my mom crying and explained to her with extreme conviction that I was now drunk and I was forever a bad person for having gotten so wasted at such a young age. I’m happy to report that the world did continue and, many years later, I developed a fondness for “beverage”. That’s what I call things of an alcoholic nature.

Beverage does have the potential to rob you of control. Absolutely. I’m sure most of us have been way too drunk between once and 2,000 times (depending on your learning capacity). The key is to find your limits. Know that if you look down at that third shot of whiskey and you take that preparatory sharp inhale of breath and prepare yourself physically and emotionally to take it…it’s probably not a good idea. You will go on to do one, if not many, embarrassing things and there will be a barrage of Facebook pics to un-tag yourself in on the following afternoon. Been there, done that. The Facebook app is not nearly convenient enough for untagging. Hint, hint, Facebook.

Harnessed properly, the potential of beverage is exponential. The mood lightens, the mind opens, the world feels a little less complicated. If you can, remember how your mind works when it’s swimming in two glasses of quality red wine. All of a sudden, the world seems a little less serious, a little more manageable, maybe a little more beautiful.

As the famous adage goes, “Everything in moderation”. How true. Have you heard of Rumpelmintz? Breath freshening, minty deliciousness, an easy shot to take, and…100 proof?? This was a huge surprise to me the day after I drank way too much of it. Don’t confuse “easy-to-take-shot” with “totally-harmless-shot”. They’re not necessarily one and the same. Two shots of Rumpelmintz is a solid foundation for a good evening. Five shots of Rumpelmintz is asking to not remember anything from the night before. Not even where your left shoe is. Hopefully, you don’t work in the morning because you’re gonna need some time to gather up all your scattered belongings due to your evil Rumpel-twin having taken over your body the previous debauchery-filled night.

In short, my friends, DRINK. But, drink wisely. Savor it. Appreciate it. Respect its power over you and avoid the debilitating headache and nausea that are the side effects of you thinking you’re the dominant one in that relationship. Be like me and my gorgeous glass of wine that inspired this evening’s blogging moment. Exist in a mutual partnership of love and acceptance…and two glasses limits…(because I’m a small human and that’s all it takes).

And, by all means, take advantage of Bevmo’s 5 cent wine sale because that’s just too legit to pass up.

One response to “Beverage.”

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