What’s more fun than sitting down and trying to cram the essence of who you are into a page worth of text? Well…a lot of things. But, let’s do this.
I’m a 31-year-old, 5’2, INFP, Scorpio that was born and raised in San Diego, CA and is now the mother of a nervous, but incredibly loving, chihuahua. I went to Chapman University and came out of there with a B.A. in Screenwriting.
I have many half siblings, but I was raised as an only child with all the extra parental attention that that includes. You could say that I was sheltered. If you choose to do so…you would be right. I was a relatively shy kid with a desire to be outgoing. A book and video game nerd that still managed to make friends with the kids that reached out to her. My parents ran a business when I was young, so I spent a lot of my childhood in their office making necklaces out of paper clips and learning data entry at too young of an age. I was a gymnast for about a decade, a basketball player until it occurred to me that I was short, a tennis player because everyone had a tennis court in the 90’s.
I went through a tom boy phase where I preferred to live in sports jerseys, sweatshirts, and sweatpants and have never liked the color pink. Brendan Fraser’s gorgeousness in “George of the Jungle” awakened me to my love for men when I was 11. I’ve grown into a confident woman who still has to fight off self-consciousness on the regular.
I’m considered a germaphobe amongst my friends, but there are worse things to be considered. I don’t lick my fingers and don’t prefer to drink out of your glass. You probably don’t have cooties, but I’m still gonna pass.
I always felt compelled to write as a kid and I think that’s because it was a pure outlet. There was no need to be shy when you could live out your dreams in characters and create worlds on a page. I have a delicate disposition in many ways, but am stubborn as a mule when something rubs up against my concept of what is right.
As I get older, I realize how important it is for me to feel that I’m getting to live as the truest version of myself. And yet, that truth evolves. So, what the hell does that mean? Looks like this is gonna be a lifelong pursuit. I prefer to be in the company of people that appreciate genuine moments in life and appreciate the small things.
I’m a recovering perfectionist that’s on a step-by-step journey to find vulnerability more comfortable. Maybe it’ll always be slightly uncomfortable, but I’ve come to think of it as necessary. How else will I find connection if I can’t let some of those things show every once in awhile and just accept that it’s normal? I was raised with the idea that I should hide emotion and always exude the facade that everything is alright. To avoid conflict and keep up the illusion of control at all costs. (Keyword: illusion. Am I right?) As an adult human, I reject the idea that that’s a healthy way to live.
Wasted time over unimportant nonsense makes me anxious. Well, several things make me anxious, but that’s one of them. Blindly judgmental people shouldn’t expect me to hang around. If I catch myself in a moment of judgment, I mentally check myself…hard. Because, seriously, who am I judge? Who are you to judge? Who are WE? We’re no one, and yet, we’ve all got things to contribute…so, ya know…contradictions.
I believe in a “live and let live” philosophy, as long as their version of living doesn’t hurt others. I believe that everything happens for a reason because we can choose to make that the reality. I take comfort in stoic and taoist philosophy.
I’m introverted and most people don’t get that when they meet me. I socialize and interact just fine, but it’s because I’m pushing through the nerves. Honestly, I hope that if I seem comfortable and approachable, that you’ll follow suit. The introversion urges me to enjoy a night alone rather than go out and feel out of place.
I feel deeply unsatisfied being in crowded bars or nightclubs. Trust me, I’ll go out every now and then, but the life expectancy of the fun depends highly on the quality of the company. I refuse to still be in any club when the lights come on at the end of the night.
I’ve had jobs as a hostess, a child window model for Limited Too, a photographer, a technical director, an audio operator, a salesperson, a radio host’s assistant and writer, a talent relations assistant with Comic Con (shoutout to my nerds out there), and it all began in a food service job. Classic.
I stick to red wine and neat whiskey because hangovers are a mother. But, if you can find this lady a nice old-fashioned…she’s all in.
I’m not wired to sit in a cubicle (I’d argue that no one is, really) and I’ve spent most of my working life on this planet trying to avoid it at all costs. My mind has always required some form of creative outlet and, when I don’t give in to its demands, I’ve become increasingly aware that it starts to work against me.
People tell me that I come off a little guarded at first…and those people are probably right. I take a minute to warm up, but I like to think that the ones that stick around are the ones that should be around. Instant gratification culture is no joke.
I’m a creature of habit that’s prone to occasional acts of straight up adventure. I may be uncomfortable, but…damnit…I’m gonna live some life. You can expect me to do crazy things in the most responsible way possible. Turn up.
As a surprisingly shy, awkward, and entirely too introspective individual, this place is a good way for me to let some ideas out and find a way to connect with you. I started the podcast so that I could sit down for some good ol’ genuine conversation and share it with anyone that loves to eavesdrop in on some honesty and get to know a stranger through the telling of their experiences and occasional setbacks. Because, quite frankly, we’re all human.
I also read a book once that said we’re all just consciousness. The observers of the mind and its thoughts. Identifying ourselves with events, jobs, and thought is all just a way to make sense of chaos because we’re just the awareness behind it all.
My hope is that what I write is, above all else, relatable.
I hope that you find value in what I share and that it makes you curious about your own mind and the constant stream of thought it’s feeding you all day. I hope you enjoy hearing the stories that other people have to share on the podcast and take comfort that we all go through similar wants and struggles.
Either way, I appreciate you for stopping in.