You’re gonna die.
Oooh, baby. That’s right. Let’s just kick this list off with a bang. You, my friend, are going to die. We all will. Sucks, right? Sure. But, let’s flip the mindset about it and turn that inevitable little tidbit into something useful.
That’s the number one thing you need to remember when you’re scared to really live your life. When you’re stuck in that rut, remind yourself that this is not a permanent experience. You are the youngest you’ll ever be right in this moment. Use your time wisely.
You can either be afraid of Death or you can use it to be grateful for current existence. Use it to realize how many problems aren’t worth stressing over in the big picture. Are they even real problems?
Learn to fear Regret more than Fear itself. None of us even know how long this whole “life” thing is going to last.
So, get in there.
Don’t let your fear make decisions. Start doing that thing you’ve always wanted to do. Accept you might not be good at it right away. Do your best and learn. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Find a circle of people that make you feel good. Choose your own company if the rest of the options aren’t healthy for you. Actively design the life you want to live.
Because, you’re right here. Right now. It’s all you have and everything you have.
You’re not as unique or special as you think you are.
That’s right, you precious little snowflake. Don’t get me wrong. There are quality combinations you bring to the table that are all you. By all means, lean into those because that’s where you stand out, find your purpose, and contribute to the greater good.
But, you can rest assured that you’re not the only one that feels loneliness, sadness, inadequacy, doubt, frustration, anxiety, and heartache. You aren’t the only one that questions whether they’re enough. You aren’t the only one to have made that mistake. To have been deceived. To have loved and lost. To have felt regret. To have felt guilt. No.
We’re all the same when it comes to being human. When you’re in the trenches, look for the people that have also been there. Be grateful that in these ways, you’re never special. You’re never alone.
Most people don’t care as much as you think they do.
No, we’re not talking about the people that are genuinely close to you. Let’s assume those folks care a great deal. We’re talking about the general masses here.
How many of us get constantly hung up on what other people are thinking? Concerned that random people are judging us or thinking we’re not good enough. Noticing that we screwed up. Waiting to see us screw up. Thinking about how we screwed up when they lay in bed at night watching Netflix.
So many people are afraid to go do things by themselves because they create the story that everyone else there is thinking, “Look at this loser with no friends.” I assure you, they don’t care.
Because even if they glance at you for a moment, in the next moment they’re right back in their own heads. Worrying about themselves and their own problems.
Short attention spans and egos are a dime a dozen out here, sweetheart. Just do you.
Quickest way to shut down someone that’s making fun of or judging your choices? Remain steadfast. Stay confident in your choices and like what you want to like. Do what feels right to you anyway. When you don’t blink an eye at their comments, they’ll quickly move on because they can’t get a rise out of you. Without the rise, there’s no fun to be had.
You’re never going to be perfect.
Whew! That’s gotta be a huge weight off your shoulders, right? It’s true. Do you know why you’re never going to be perfect? Because it literally doesn’t exist. It’s an imaginary, unachievable, boring concept. Who’s attracted to boring people? Definitely not me (when I look back on my history of attraction). Gimme a flawed and fascinating weirdo any day of the week.
You know those people you look at and think are perfect? Yeah. Not perfect. Still people. Just like you.
Relax. Work to be a decent human being with good intentions. Find your passion. Know that sometimes you’ll fail. Know that it’s alright. Be fantastically flawed and let go.
You know nothing and nothing ever stays the same.
We’re clueless. It’s the almighty secret of adulthood that you realize once you’ve arrived. Even the grown ups are winging it most of the time.
You can’t predict the events of the next year or the next hour and change is inevitable. You can’t stop it and you don’t always have control over it. When things get scary and you have no clue what’s going to happen next (which, I’ll remind you, is always) remember to think of your life as an ever-evolving story.
There are so many characters you’ve yet to meet. So many plot twists that haven’t occurred. The existing characters are going to change on you and your relationships with them will be affected. You will be forced to adapt and, with the right perspective, get better. Even if it takes some time to heal (and life will demand you schedule in some quality healing time). Experiences will create layers. You’ll make choices. You’ll hurt. You’ll laugh. Your story will unravel and change no matter how you feel about it.
So, flow with it.
Feel it, but know that resistance to what is just delays the process. Hanging on to the past for dear life would be an awful waste of your potential.
The beauty of all these harsh realities is that we can use them in our favor with a small tweak of perspective.
Try to revel in the fact that you only have control over so much. Let that help you feel focused and use your energy in places where it’s useful. Practice self-compassion and self-awareness when the times get weird because weird…they shall get.
It’s all part of your story. Make it a good one.