I’m becoming de-sensitized to six packs.

Yeah, I said it.

I see the abs. They’re there. I see them as an accomplishment and they’re great, but they’re just not what they used to be.

Granted, I live in a city that glorifies an ideal body and I’m on the Instagrams flicking through seemingly endless pictures of intensely fit humans on the regular. Aren’t we all?

But, a dauntingly muscular man with shredded everything just isn’t the main thing that gets me goin’.

I like a unique looking man. Sprinkle in some special features on that face, know what I mean? Gimme some kind eyes and a good set of hands.

Lately, when I’ve found myself out in the bar scene (laughably rare these days, but still) I feel like I can’t tell a lot of the men apart. Groups of men have started to dress like each other and blend. All just hanging around looking…similar. With their haircuts and their matching button-ups.

I have to be attracted to a man to date him. A given. I have a type, but it’s pretty general when I really think about it. And people are not. I don’t get how it works 100% of the time.

I keep getting blindsided by chemical and charismatic attraction. I like it. What that proves is that there’s so much more to attraction than what your eyes are giving you.

I do like a toned man. A reasonably together man. Why? Because it’s attractive that a man cares for his body enough to keep it in shape. Staying in shape is a boost to your mental state, to your quality of life, to your whole existence. So, yes, “in reasonable shape” is important to me. I’m over here trying, so I’d hope that he might knock a push-up out from time to time. It’s a lifestyle thing, people.

Don’t get me wrong. I’d never use a man’s chiseled physique against him. I wouldn’t reject a man for being “too fit”. But, I’d also never consider that kind of body a requirement. It’s hard to maintain and life is short.

There are people out there that genuinely feel they aren’t deserving of love until their body reaches a certain ideal. Like once they finally achieve this idealized image of a body then, and only then, are they worthy of receiving love from another human.

Nonsense. Where’d we learn that and how do we un-learn that with a quickness?

I’m not perfect and neither are you. Look, we have something in common.

I’m over here trying to figure out how to make a real connection with another human being in a time where connection feels super elusive…and I’m gonna count a man out because his calves aren’t big enough or the lats aren’t bulging out of his shirt??

Get outta here.

I don’t want to go to the gym with you on the first date.

I’m not impressed by how much you can benchpress or deadlift. I’m a healthy lady, but those numbers don’t mean anything to me.

I care that you’re a healthy, active individual that likes to keep it together. I care if you make me laugh and make me think. I care that you’re self-aware. I care that I’m attracted to you (whatever that entails). I care that you’re kind.

Talkin’ to men and ladies alike: What you need is a healthy body that you love to live in.

That’s what you NEED.

Should you aim to keep a little tone on it? Sure. Be proud of that body you’ve gotta walk around in all day.

Should you eat mostly healthy? Of course.

Should you enjoy some naughty delectables from time to time? Yes. Savor them.

Moderation and connection, people.

Let’s spend more time on those things and less time comparing squat numbers.

Unless you moderately connect over squat numbers. In that case, do you.